*extremely long and satisfying yawn* Hello Otters! This is Ottavia Paluch from Things You Otter Know. Sorry I’ve been away for so long again. Welcome to the April 2022 edition of Otterbiography, the monthly column where I spend half the time complaining talking about my extremely boring and unimpressive life as it currently stands and then spend the other half sharing media that I have been consuming in sort-of-large amounts. (The name was suggested by some guy on Twitter I don’t know.)
I have some good news to share with you today. This is the first of TWO—yes, two emails you’ll be getting from me this week. The first email is this one (obviously). But the second is an ANNOUNCEMENT post!! Regarding this very Substack page!! I can’t wait to share it with you this coming Friday, May 6. And I also cannot wait to finally get this Substack back on track as May runs its course. Let’s get to it.
April Shoppers bring May flowers??
My co-op job at Shoppers continues to suck. My manager took off all of a sudden to a new store so I’ve been stuck with two new manager-boss-ladies for the time being, both of whom are very nice. I literally cannot stand my co-op teacher though. At the top of the month we had a little discussion and he was like “So are you enjoying it” and I of course lied and said “Yes” and he said “Great! We’ll give you more work then.” KILL. ME. So now up until the end of the year they’re gonna put me alllll over the place. I will report back to you on what they force me to do. So far I’ve had to stock some shelves and replace hundreds—like, literally hundreds—of price tag holders. I’m sure more is coming. Ugh.
At least now I’m trying to, like, enjoy it a little bit? Like, when I’m working independently I can do other menial tasks as I work. Like mumbling along to a good song that comes on, and complaining, and, well, complaining. Just last week, while I was replacing the plastic price tag holders, I was so bored out of my goddamn mind that I devised a little game. Basically, I had this basket to throw the old plastic thingymabobs in, but as I got further and further down the aisle I was getting further and further away from the basket. Just picture the scene. Me, a certified loser, in the middle of the baby bottles section of a worn-down Shoppers Drug Mart, yet another incredibly annoying John Mayer song on full blast, as I toss plastic price card holders into a basket 20 feet away from me and miss by a solid few inches. Whatever it takes to keep myself sane. And “professional”. God.
There was also a day where I got Toblerone after my shift. I hadn’t had one of those suckers in years. Bloody delicious. And another day where I got Three Musketeers. My favourite chocolate bar that I simply do not eat enough of. When I was in Rochester for two days in grade 8 I discovered it and haven’t looked back. You should try it. I know most of you are all caught up in your 4777534687 different Target cereals, but still.
There was actually a day in late April where I stepped outside to touch some grass, believe it or not.
So two of my friends and I went to this place on the outskirts of Toronto which is normally a dive bar that sells fancy water for grown ups and hosts a lot of local shows. But on this particular day they were hosting this all-ages event. From 12-3 there was this punk market thing where punks were selling zines and pins and other assorted punk stuff. And from 3-6 there was this punk show with 4 local punk-adjacent bands playing. I had never been to a local show but (and I totally will talk about this in another post) I love the scene that’s burgeoned in Toronto and here in the surrounding areas, so I’m all for it, right?
When we step inside around 2 we are met by this incredibly thick blanket of…foul-smelling air. Death metal blaring so hard you can feel the bass vibrating through the floor. And there are people EVERYWHERE. Just picture this tiny little dive bar packed to the brim with punks of every dyed hair colour under the goddamned sun. Enough shades to make friggin E.L. James jealous. I couldn’t believe how high the population was of kids in and around my city who listen to Rancid and dress like my mother’s worst nightmare. Really threw me in for a loop.
Now, seeing as I am Ottavia after all, I was a little overwhelmed with everything. But it was cool, the place was cool, the people seemed cool, so I’m thinking, “Cool!”. We were out of there rather quickly, quicker than I’d like to admit. And the reason I say that is because I wanted to go to the show that was taking place during the second half of the day. But one of my friends texted me in the morning telling me that tickets at the door were sold out. I’m so salty I didn’t get to see Weekend Goodbye’s set because they’re one of my favourite local bands. (Linking to them here; please rack up their streams and make them famous.) I saw videos afterward of the show on Instagram and it looked crazy. The way you’d expect a punk show to look. Maybe I dodged a bullet after all, because that mosh pit looked like a ticket to an early grave.
Other things that happened to me this month!
I caught a Zoom called “How to Be an Art Monster” with Sheila Heti, Jenny Offill, & Jia Tolentino. Bennington College put it on. I thought it was very cool and every was very smart. Here’s a thread of quotes from it.
The new Harry Styles song dropped! Might be the best thing he’s ever done. His new record’s out on the 20th. Stoked for that.
And on April Fools Day the new PUP album came out! For those of you who don’t know they are a punk rock band from Toronto who in general have been one of the biggest bands in punk for a few years now. I listened to the new one for the first time while I was cleaning my room. I can see how it can be sorta divisive, though. I’m still not sure how it stands up to their previous releases.
The World Cup draw happened! Canada is in a tough group alongside Croatia (yikes), Morocco (eh) and Belgium (BIIIIG yikes). But I think we’re gonna surprise some people. Fun fact, this is our first time at a World Cup since 1986! No idea if y’all follow soccer or whatever but I cannot wait for November. Will probably skip a class or two to watch a game because I’m dumb like that.
I finally got around to watching Nanette, the Hannah Gadsby special! I thought it was pretty brilliant overall. I would give you a whole spiel but I’m going to wait until I read the 400-page behemoth that is her brand-new memoir, Ten Steps to Nanette. I wish the 2 shows she’s doing in Toronto weren’t sold out.
I stayed up late to watch Arcade Fire’s Coachella set! Of course, they were fantastic. That band makes songs so anthemic they can get you emotional. I don’t know if I’m emotionally prepared for their new record which comes out on the 6th. Gonna need good headphones for that.
The Grammys happened! If you missed them, well, you didn’t miss much. Other than the Biebs turning “Peaches” into a really cringey slow jam. And Jon Baptiste winning Album of the Year for some odd reason. Oh well. Grammys gonna Grammys.
The Raptors took Philly to 6 games. That was a wild series. Lots of ups and downs. Ultimately, though, Joel Embiid is going to Joel Embiid.
And speaking of sports! Auston Matthews, I don’t know if you know him, but he reached the 60-goal plateau this month, which is more than any other NHL player ended up scoring this season, and he happens to play hockey for the team I cheer for. It’s insane. Up until this year the record for goals scored in a single season by a guy in a Leafs uniform was 54. And that record was set in the mid-80s. So it’s been a long time since we had a player this good. I hope Matthews continues to score in bunches during the playoffs. Otherwise we are (once again) not getting out of the first round.
Interpol returned! And by that I mean the band. They have a new album out later this year. Judging from the two advance singles they’ve put out so far I don’t think it’ll be any good. They and this other band I LOVE called Spoon are opening for Metric this august in Toronto, I’d totally go, except I…don’t like Metric.
Alexisonfire also came to Toronto last week for a free show! It was 19+ though which is such a shame. I would’ve loved to be there. I saw vids on Instagram of their set and it was just banger after banger. They’re not my favourite band ever but my GOD are they a bunch of post-hardcore legends. They have their first album in over a decade coming out in June and I’m so excited for that.
I started this mentorship program thingymajingy wherein ten young visually impaired mentees from across Canada get paired up with older visually impaired mentors from across Canada. I got paired up with Esther who is from Ottawa and twice my age (you do the math). She’s completely blind but she doesn’t let that stop her. She is LITERALLY going to Florida THIS MONTH to go WATER SKIING. Say it with me folks: RIDICULOUSNESS.
I hope to be as cool as Esther when I’m her age. I’ve been extremely lucky to have been guided in some abstract way by some incredible people—first Jessica, then Matt, later Janelle, and also people like Matthew and J in a less formal capacity, and now Esther. I am very lucky. I think what separates Esther from the rest of them, though, is that she’s blind, right? And to be totally frank with you, dearest Otters, I can count the people I’ve met who are visually impaired on one hand. So the opportunity to get to learn from her means a lot to me.
Some quotes from an April 18 virtual event hosted by Powell’s wherein Jia Tolentino interviews Ocean Vuong:
"Churches dictated so much of how America thinks and feels and what it believes in, for better or for worse... and I have a deep reverence for their intentions, regardless of how badly they landed.”
"I don't feel that writing is a career, and I mean that very sincerely. Writing any book feels miraculous. I've written 3 books and those all feel like 3 separate discrete acts. I've never signed multi-book contracts because it terrifies me to sell a phantom bridge to someone."
"I've been lucky to be rooted in Buddhist practice from long before I was a writer. I was really seeking a way out of this world. I would go to the library and read about Buddhism. I would go to Buddhist sanghas and ask, 'if I can't get out of this world, is there a way in?'"
And some advice he offered young writers:
Just read everything. Try not to judge [the text] right away. Enter the text the way you enter a room or enter weather. Try to stay away from the polemics inside of you. You want to preserve a multiplicity in how you engage with your field.
If you are a person who at one point decided, 'I'm going to be a writer,'—which is a terrifying thing in this culture, because there's no promise, no direct correlation with success—go back to that person. If you're lucky to be writing 10 years from now, you'll be stressed out over everything. But you have to remember why you're here.
I go back to Ocean at the community college, reading Rimbaud, and thinking, 'I don't know how this works, but I'm going to go for broke and figure it out.' You have to stay curious.
Stuff I Like!
Books I have been reading!
I did…not read a book this month. I honest to God thought I would. But I did not. I totally will in May. At least 2. You heard it here first. I WILL FIND A WAY.
Other things I have been reading
Why do teens not want a job? Because jobs SUUUUUUUCK.
Kim Kardashian - the Kardashians, really - SUUUUUUUCK.
I continue to be amazed by my friend (and TYOK subscriber!) Jessica Kim, who is doing so much good for Los Angeles, young writers, and visually impaired writers like myself—AND is also a ridiculously talented poet with a chapbook out next month?! HOW?????
The Beaverton pulls no punches.
Olivia Rodrigo did two nights at Massey Hall here in Toronto. (I’ve never been to Massey Hall but I absolUTELY will one day. My dad tells me that place is the best place to see live music and I 200% believe him.) I was at neither of those shows, unfortunately. So naturally, Avril friggin Lavine showed up to do “Complicated” during night 1.
The French election already happened but regardless this is a good read.
I’m a big Rick Mercer fan. I think a lot of Canadians are. He tells it like it is and he’s also smart as a whip and funny as hell. Like Mark Critch if Mark Critch was funny. (Good God, I hate Mark Critch.)
Never skiied in my life. I still think skiing is cool.
I know 85% of his songs are trash but Rob Thomas is really so inspiring. He came out of the other side of a difficult childhood because of his talent. I have all the respect in the world for him even though Matchbox Twenty hasn’t put out a good song in 22 years. (I will absolutely write an essay on this for the Substack one day. I don’t care if you don’t care. I think everyone needs to know that I think that “Long Day” is a criminally underrated smash. Hopefully the, like, 3.7 adults who subscribe to this Substack will agree with me.)
I’ve been getting into Jeopardy! again. Mattea is…a character.
This article on the anger coming from a crucial piece of the modern music industry angered me deeply.
And lastly, I highly encourage you to take 15 minutes out of your wonderful Sunday to read this wonderful Ocean Vuong interview in the New Yorker. So much wisdom and depth and care found within his answers. I cannot wait to get my hands on a copy of Time is a Mother.
Music I have been listening to!
This month I discovered my new favourite band. Which is not a regular occurrence for me anymore. They’re called Joyce Manor, they’re from Torrance, California, and they make tight and short and invigorating emo punk songs. I haven’t been this excited over a band—specifically a band whose music I hadn’t heard before—in a long time. Not since Touché Amoré came out with Lament back in October of 2020. And as you already know I love that album to death. Anyway, here are three JM songs that I’ve streamed a lot over the last month:
“Big Lie” (Million Dollars to Kill Me, 2018)
This was the first Joyce Manor song I ever heard. I think I found it through a post on Instagram that someone shared of them playing the show in this small but fancy studio with these fancy cameras. And I heard a snippet of it and was like, “hmm.” So I go to Apple Music and I give it a listen and I dig it a ridiculous amount. “Big Lie” clocks in at just under three minutes but to me it feels very polished and complete compared to other Joyce Manor songs that are a little more rough around the edges and have more of a directly hardcore punk sensibility to them. Which I think makes this song the PERFECT gateway song into the rest of their discography, for those of you who are interested. And what I mean by that is it’s a lot more accessible in that people who don’t really listen to this type of music might just be on board with this song! The first verse is super memorable and so is the last minute where Barry is pushing it and the rest of the band is pushing it juuust enough so that they’re on the very edge of a post-hardcore anthem, but not quite. Though the rest of Million Dollars is kinda hit or miss, this song brings it to a level it otherwise would not have surpassed.
“Falling in Love Again” (Never Hungover Again, 2014)
This is it, Chief. Having listened to all of their albums front to back an inordinate amount over the last month, I honestly think Never Hungover Again is their best work. This is the second track off that album, and to me it is the Joyce Manor sound distilled into a single song. “Thanks for showing me around last night, hope you don’t think I don’t care,” Barry Johnson sing-yells. “‘Cause I DO, I just don’t know if I should feel this bad about you.” This song is full of little hooks that act as little improvements to a song that is already of a high caliber. The obvious one is when the band kicks into high gear after the first verse, which is probably my favourite part of ANY Joyce Manor song. But also! That little Pavement-esque higher pitched guitar chord strum is KILLER. The way the drums FLAM-FLAM into the second verse. The outro whose backing vocals are just BEGGING to be yelled. Bar none the best thing they’ve ever made, although take my opinion with a grain of salt because I know literally nothing.
“Gotta Let it Go” (40 Oz. to Fresno, forthcoming June 10!!!!)
A funny thing happened one night when I was listening to this band. It was just after midnight and I wanted to check something on their artist page on Apple Music. And when I do click on their artist oage there’s this new page live for…A NEW ALBUM?!?!?!?!?! Dudes. When I heard this for the first time later that night I was FLOORED. To me it’s kinda pop but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It just kinda has this power-pop sound that would be right in step with the power-pop boom that was happening in the early 2000s. I just love how it gets in your face and gets you excited and fist-pumping and the chorus line is repeated a few more times before it just….leaves! One minute and fifty-four seconds of euphoria, you know what I mean? (The word “euphoria” must’ve thrown 90% of you off, but still.) I have no idea how this is only the 6th track on the record when it could very easily be the first. The answer must be that this album is going to absolutely RIP from front-to-back. It’s only 17 minutes long which means you already know it’s going to be a classic in the Joyce Manor discography. I’m so excited.
Poems!
“Orpheus Again” by Joe Safie
“Jessica gives me a chill pill” by Angie Sijun Lou
“The Problem With Invention” by Charles Rafferty
Tweets I loved that may or may not have come from me!
That’s it for month number four of Things You Otter Know! May is going to be NUTS. Spring will hopefully arrive in Canada, but more importantly, the Stanley Cup playoffs are now upon us!!! Which means I am going to watch an insane amount of hockey over the next two months. And I deeply believe that the Leafs are going to win a round this time. They can totally beat the 2-time defending champions…right?
🦦 —O— 🦦