This is Ottavia Paluch and you’re reading Things You Otter Know.
It’s good to be back after a hectic few weeks which included a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad exam. (I am never taking summer classes ever again.)
And then over the weekend I was at Niagara Falls with my family for my mom’s birthday. Definitely a tourist trap but the falls themselves are, well, the GOAT of waterfalls. The key is to go to this tower of theirs that looks like a fake Space Needle, and when you walk in you look like you’re inside of a Pizza Planet (like, in Toy Story? Please tell me you’ve watched all four movies in the Toy Story franchise. Those movies WRECK me.) But then you take an elevator to the top where they have this nice fancy restaurant where the piano guy does his best Bill Evans impression while you eat really good seafood pasta and also garlic bread.
ANYWAYS. None of that is why I am writing to you today.
As you all know I am a total sports junkie, a disease I inherited from my dad. Hockey and soccer are up top but tennis is probably third.
For the last few years we’ve picked a day off to attend the Canadian Open, currently branded as the National Bank Open presented by Rogers for sponsorship reasons (which is such an ick). The men and women play their respective tournaments simultaneously and they alternate host cities so that one year the women play in Montreal and the next year they play in Toronto.
This year the men were in Toronto. Earlier this month we got to watch Milos Raonic, Canada’s most successful male player, get absolutely destroyed by a very good young American. And then we saw two other matches featuring players I can’t remember.
Then when we got home we watched the world #1 Carlos Alcaraz beat a very good player in Hubert Hurkacz. My dad was rooting for Hubi since we’re Polish. Hubi kinda rocks.
But Carlos is different. Carlos hits shots no one else can. He covers the court as if he thinks his legs are made of elastic bands. And his personality is so different from the stoicism we’re used to seeing in this sport. He smiles a lot, he yells “vamos!” after winning big points, and he’s incredibly passionate but not cocky in the slightest.
Carlos, I should note, is from Spain. He is four months older than me and honestly kinda cute.
Then last night Novak Djokovic, who I’m sure you’ve heard of, beat Alcaraz in the final of the Western and Southern Open (which is held every year somewhere in Ohio, not like anyone cares where exactly in Ohio because in Ohio everything is Ohio)
Novak, I should note, is Serbian. He turned pro the year Carlos and I were born.
The two of them had played three times before, most recently in the Wimbledon final (Carlos won in five whole entire sets, it was the most insane thing ever). Before that they had met in this year’s French Open final (Novak won) and before that in the 2022 Madrid Open (Carlos won). The stress these two put each other under, the insanity they extract from each other, makes for must-see TV.
Last night’s match was a gruelling 3 hours and 48 minutes. People are gonna talk about it for years to come. To make a long story short, at first it looked like the 35-degree Celsius heat had gotten to Djokovic but somehow he persevered and took Alcaraz down in a very tight 3rd-set tiebreak.
Now, this is a Substack that was never meant to serve as objective journalism, so haters be warned at the paragraphs below:
I cannot stand Novak Djokovic. He lost all my respect with that vaccine shtick of his a year or two ago. He also has the most punchable schnoz in sports and he’s built like a goddamned tennis machine. Christ, he IS a goddamned tennis machine! He’s won everything there is to win in tennis and he’s won more than any male tennis player ever. And he did all that against some of the best players to ever pick up a racket.
But guess what? Rafael Nadal is 37 and dealing with chronic injuries.
Andy Murray is somehow still around but absolutely not the player he once was.
Roger Federer, the eternal epitome of efficiency, your mom’s fave—is retired now.
You could’ve easily seen Djokovic dominating for years to come as the next generation of stars honed their skills. But thank god that hasn’t happened because I am getting SO tired of Novak being Novak.
Here’s a very, very recent example of Novak's Novakness: after match point he ripped off his shirt in celebration, and I just…I HATE when men do that.
An aside: remember when Adam Levine did that during the Super Bowl halftime show? And then he howled into the mic thinking he was some rich alpha male? Just when I thought I couldn’t hate Maroon 5 more! I’m not going to include a pic because you deserve better, but it’s not like the FCC censored it or anything, Nahhhh. Why bother?! Janet Jackson’s breast accidentally becomes exposed and the world immediately sets itself on fire, but when a man takes off his shirt it’s no big deal. Not to get all feminist on y’all, but bloody hell.
Back to tennis. Tennis is in a beauuuutiful spot right now. I’m too young to know anything about Bjorn Borg or John McEnroe or Andre Agassi, but this new generation has really been piquing my interest. And you might feel the same way if you choose to tune in! You will discover a plethora of young players in the top 40 who can easily command your attention.
And it’s such a global game, with elite players coming from all over the world. The top 10 on the men’s side features Stefano Tsitsipas (Greece), Holger Rune (Denmark), Jannik Sinner (Italy), and Casper Ruud (freaking Norway, like who tf plays tennis in NORWAY?)
Tennis is also one of those sports that on the surface feels pretty equal with regards to gender parity. You can’t tell me the men’s game is better than the women’s game because that is objectively untrue. Maybe the serves are a little faster on the men’s side but that’s honestly it. The entertainment value, the quality level, the drama—the DRAMA—is honestly equal.
The women’s top 10 also features players from all around the world. Iga Swiatek is the world #1 and she’s about as good as it gets (when she’s on her game - and this Polish family loves when she’s on her game). Elena Rybakina is from Kahzakstan. Ons Jabeur is from Tunisia. It’s actually bonkers.
For those of you looking for someone more close to home—those of you from the States should be all over this sport. You have your own Grand Slam, for Christ’s sake. And the sheer amount of elite players that come out of your country is ridiculous. Sure, Serena might’ve retired, but it’s not like you just suddenly faded into tennis obscurity. Coco Gauff is A YEAR YOUNGER THAN ME(!) and just won the Western and Southern Open, like, literally yesterday. Jessica Pegula is legit top 5 in the world. Danielle Collins is elite. Madison Keys has been elite for what feels like forever and she’s only 28. On the men’s side, Frances Tiafoe and Taylor Fritz are both in the top 10 and both absolutely electric to watch. Ben Shelton is a star in the making. Tommy Paul has a super flashy style and beat Carlos Alcaraz like, last week.
And then here in Canada more people are paying attention to tennis than ever before because of how many players we have playing at a high level these days. The aforementioned Raonic started things around a decade ago (and so did Genie Bouchard for, like, a week) but now we’ve got Félix Auger-Aliassime hovering around the top 10, and then both Denis Shapovalov and Vasek Pospisil are both super easy to root for. The women’s side is stacked too. Leylah Fernandez is the perfect combo of gutsy and sweet. Bianca Andreescu beat Serena in a Grand Slam final not too long ago.
But if you’re overwhelmed by all of these names, maybe you should start by YouTubing this Djokovic-Alcaraz rivalry. They both are so much better than the rest of the competition and watching them play each other is perhaps the most insane thing you can see in sports right now (and especially right now because it’s August so the NFL and NBA and NHL are all in hibernation mode). Or maybe you should tune in to the U.S. Open when it starts next week and which will probably feature a Djokovic-Alcaraz rematch. Vamos!
🦦—O— 🦦
Ottavia have you read Carrie Soto Is Back i feel like you'd love it