Things You Otter Know About the 2025 Grammy Awards

music's biggest night NEVER disappoints (at least not this time)

Grammy night is one of my favourite nights of the year. We haven’t talked about it enough here at Things You Otter Know Incorpated but beginning today that changes. I’ve mentioned previously I would like to surpass the 1,000 word quota — hell, even double it every once in a while — to do these award show recaps, because they are so fun to cover. And so: the 67th Annual Grammy Awards! (I wanted this to be the first thing you read about it, hence the early send time.)

I’ve been watching the Grammys since I was a kid. And when I was a kid I used to think watching the Grammys and caring an inordinate amount about them was the cool thing to do. Here I am twelve or so years later, still writing about the Grammys, still incredibly uncool.

The Grammys themselves have become incredibly uncool. Ten years ago they would easily crush 40 million viewers. Last year? 16 million. No one cares about those stupid mashups anymore! But I still tune in because I have no life. And I still care a stupidly dumb amount about the stupidly dumb world of establishment pop culture, even if I am quite frankly the most out-of-touch 21 year old on the planet.

There are paragraphs sprinkled in from when I was writing about the show while the show was live but most of this was written right after the show ended. You can probably tell which is which. Have fun!

The LA Wildfire tribute(s)

My heart goes out to everyone in Los Angeles dealing with this tragedy. I know a bunch of you are in and around California and then I have some folks at UofT who are going thru it right now. I’m so glad the Grammys dedicated some of their airtime to local businesses in LA affected by the fire. Very classy move.

Bruno Mars & Lady Gaga, “California Dreamin”

Another LA tribute that came about halfway through the show! I really don’t like “Die With a Smile,” the song they did together not too long ago, but they did a great job with this cover. Bruno is the most suave man on the goddamned planet. A Grammys institution who hasn’t released an album in eight years but it feels like he never left.

Lady Gaga has a new album out in March, apparently? She hasn’t released a proper Gaga record since Chromatica, and that was in the COVID times! The world longs for new Lady Gaga club bangers.

However, the world def does not need more Lady Gaga fashion. I get the sense that whenever she’s picking out outfits for these big events, she just runs to the nearest Value Village and asks for the ugliest dress they have.

Billie Ellish

HIT ME HARD AND SOFT didn’t win a single Grammy this year. I don’t understand that. It’s such a leap forward from Happier Than Ever that it really should’ve made the Grammys… you know… happier than ever.

If Kendrick didn’t exist, “BIRDS OF A FEATHER” would win all the Grammys. That’s just an inch-perfect gen-Z pop song. Still not tired of her performing it at awards shows (and this was perhaps the umpteenth time).

Sabrina Carpenter

Not gonna call myself a stan but I fell for her charm and wit like all of you sickos did. That Short n’ Sweet album has some songs, dude. I love “Taste”. It’s basically ear candy. “Please Please Please” is solid, too. But obviously “Espresso” is the crème de la crème, the pop song AI wishes it could write. (Although listening to an AI song about coffee would probably sound like the taste of Dunkin Donuts coffee.)

I’m particularly impressed by the way she’s contorted her image. Just the right amount of snark and showbiz pizzazz. It’s allowed her to set herself apart from her A-list peers. It’s taken her a long time to reach this level of success, eh? We’ve come a long way from the Joshua Bassett saga.

That Netlifx Christmas variety special, by the way, was the perfect fit for her. My dream job now is to write jokes for her next variety special. A Sabrina Carpenter Easter. I could see it happening…

The Sabrina - Oiivia feud

…is over?????? According to this tweet?!

Best New Artist

Was there any doubt?

Chappell Roan is a star. A star a star a star. She crushed the VMAs, she crushed SNL, and she’s crushed the Grammys. Imagine just holding your mic up to that audience, just knowing they’re going to sing their hearts out to the chorus of your song. (I, too, sang “Pink Pony Club” here in the living room.)

I love blasting that song and all the other bangers off Midwest Princess while I do chores. I think doing that has made me less of a terrible singer.

I am a bit worried she’s peaked too soon. None of the slow songs on the album do it for me, except “Casual,” which is just femininomenal. Completely redefines the easy listening genre.

ANYWAYS. Her speech upon accepting Best New Artist was awesome and so brave. Honestly some of the coolest stuff anyone’s said on the Grammys since…I’ve been around? The only memorable speech of that sort I can remember was Fiona Apple’s in 1997. Really challenging the foundation that makes up the Grammys. Very proud of her.

The Best New Artist Medley

Really hit or miss for me. I liked the flash-mob feel of the whole thing, Very creative.

I can’t stand Benson Boone. “Beautiful Things” is the ugliest thing ever. His voice is so grating it’s like listening to expired shredded cheese.

Doechii (above) was super cool. I need to listen to that mixtape. I feel like I’m the last person on planet Earth who hasn't succumbed to the Doechii hype yet.

Same with Raye. I listened to her album once and then forgot about it. Yes I am that stupid.

Do not care for Teddy Swims or Shaboozey. “A Bar Song (Tipsy)” was #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for a record-tying NINETEEN weeks… and there is literally nothing memorable about it. Good for Shaboozey—he’s set for life—but someone explain this phenomenon to me because it sounds like every other song on country radio.

Quincy Jones tribute

About ten minutes too long, though Cynthia Erivo knocked “Fly Me to the Moon” out of the park. She sent that baseball to the MOON, bro.

Lainey Wilson was solid but just a weird transition away from Cynthia’s ridiculousness. Stevie Wonder was Stevie Wonder (read: genius). Janelle Monae was awesome. So so so good at what she does.

The Weeknd

Being a Toronto girl, of course I’m going to listen to Hurry Up Tomorrow eventually. Perhaps I should hurry up and listen to it tomorrow. Meaning never. Next!

In Memoriam

Liam Payne right off the top made me cry. Love how they managed to fit in Garth Nelson from the Band even though he passed not even two weeks ago.

And Chris Martin with the most gorgeous piano arrangement of “All My Love,” a standout from Coldplay’s newest album Moon Music. (As a longtime Coldplay fan, I can tell you I have only listened to this album once.)

But whenever he strips back these super poppy songs down to their essence it’s the most gorgeous thing. I really love this version of “Everglow”. I cannot believe that song came out in 2015. TEN YEARS AGO. What even is time?!

Record of the Year

If “Not Like Us” doesn’t win… I may start a riot.

UPDATE [11:01 PM EST]: It won!

Omg, everyone singing along. That’s how you know you have a record of the year.

I never came around to talking about GNX or any of the great albums that came out last year, but I loved it. As did everyone else. I am not unique in this take. A victory lap to end all victory laps. Kendrick reigns supreme.

Shakira

Shakira. Shakira Shakira Shakiiiiiiiraaaaaaa. I have, like, five Colombian friends, so this is personal to me.

I didn’t understand a single word she sang, but she makes me want to learn Spanish just so I can understand every word she sang.

Global Impact Award: Alicia Keys

Can’t tell you how long I have been waiting to write about Alicia Keys. Not someone whose music I know super intimately but whom I have all the respect in the world for. Do you remember when she hosted the Grammys a few years back?! She was so good they had her do it twice.

I really loved her speech accepting this award for her humanitarian work. Quoting Toni Morrison is a W in my book. It’s always struck me how grounded and empathetic Alicia’s been her entire life. So inspired of an individual, in all sorts of ways, that it inspires you. She’s still so driven. She could go raise her kids in Hampton Hills and never play a note again but instead she wrote a smash hit musical.

The thing that really blows me away is her piano playing. She’s classically trained and she’s managed to craft these beautiful blends of classical and jazz-infused parts that simultaneously pass for pop and R&B music. Whether or not you’re a musician with a keen ear, your brain will friggin explode from hearing these lush arrangements all over KEYS II from a few years back, or the way she interprets the hits off any one of her live albums. That is someone who respects and understands and loves her craft more than what should feel possible. GIVE HER YOUR FLOWERS.

Song of the Year

You know how long it took me to understand the difference between Song and Record of the Year? Hell, did you even know there was a difference?

It turns out that Song of the Year is more lyrics-and-melody based, apparently. But sometimes they give out Song and Record of the Year to the same song! And so “Not Like Us” reigns supreme once more. I am not mad at all.

pure and utter chaos. i love it.

Charli XCX

Easily the funnest part of the night. We more of this energy in Grammys night from here on out. SHE DID VON DUTCH AND I WAS SO HYPED. And then also “guess”.

But “von Dutch” is my favourite song from brat. I was literally headbanging to it in my headwrap and PJs (I washed my hair before this show started). It’s the kinda thing you blast while standing on the passenger seat of your buddy’s car with the sunroof open. But I sadly did not connect with the rest of brat and yes I know this makes me incredibly uncool.

Album of the Year

I still can’t believe that Andre 3000 flute album got nominated. That’s too funny. Even I couldn’t come up with a better punchline than that.

But yes—spoiler alert—Beyoncé finally won Album of the Year!!

It was too poetic, too perfect of an ending to a helluva year for her and for Black artists in country music. It’s not an award she needs, you know? It’s long overdue flowers for her. Hell, COWBOY CARTER isn’t even better than RENAISSANCE! But the Grammys had to do this. She is music royalty. You treat her as such.

Watching her give that speech felt like a coronation of sorts. Billie was crying! Gaga was crying! Man, I just love it when the stars align and pop culture make you feel good!!! OMG, not Taylor clinking champagne glasses with JAY-Z. I can’t. I love this stupid useless meaningless rich people music awards telecast.