The Junos!
Canada's biggest night in music doesn't hold a candle to America's, but I watched it anyway.
Otters,
It’s 9PM EST as I send this over! I don’t send evening posts out often but I wanted to try it this time and see if a new trend emerges in terms of viewership.
I had no idea what to write about this week. Could I complain once more about receiving internship rejection after internship rejection? Did I have another cool LinkedIn story in me? Would I be able to write a thousand words on the horrendous scrambled eggs I made this morning?
I decided to write very briefly about the Junos instead. Maybe you’ll be less bored that way.
The Junos are Canada’s version of the American Music Awards, or the BRITs in Britain, or the…you get it.
No one really watches the Junos. They had very low ratings this year. I watched anyway because I have no life.
I was going to write this post the way I did the Oscars recap, but I figured there wasn’t going to be enough to write about this time. Regardless:
Yes! Your eyes are not deceiving you! Pictured in the above rather grainy photo is in fact Nelly Freaking Furtado, still sounding great, though also sporting a truly terrible fit. Someone fire her stylist!
It’s so cool to see Nelly back in the spotlight. I was a little kid during her heyday in the 2000s but oh my god does Loose ever have some jams.
Nelly hosted the show this year. She has a good stage presence, obvs, but clearly struggles with a teleprompter. Still fun as hell to see her open the show with a couple-minute medley of her biggest hits—absolute club bangers like "Say It Right,” “Maneater,” the aforementioned “Promiscuous,” “Give It To Me”.
And of course she did “I’m Like a Bird”. I feel like everyone at the show in Halifax would walk out if she finished her performance and didn’t do that song.
I swear to god, every time I’m in a Canadian Tire—not often, but still—they’re always playing it. What’s up with that? It’s a classic, but I am specifically wondering why Canadian Tire loves it so much. Does it hypnotize shoppers into purchasing more items?
They didn’t hand out many awards during the telecast, which was a bummer. But Anne Murray(!) came out to present Group of the Year to the Beaches (more on them in a second). The first Juno Awards, she says, “was one giant party in Toronto, with no TV cameras, and everyone got hammered. But not me, of course.”
A bunch of performances happened but that I won’t comment on because I don’t know anything about Punjabi-wave and I don’t know any Jeremy Dutcher songs. But I loved the diversity in this year’s telecast overall. Canadian music really is genreless.
TALK did that “Run Away to Mars” song. He would end up winning Breakthrough Artist of the Year, which is a big deal because basically every hugely famous Canadian musician from the last 20 years has won (or been nominated for) that award. I don’t like his music. But I respect his hustle.
Charlotte Cardin (above) writes cool pop songs in both English and French. Look at that fit! Now that is a fit. She looks great, she’s a great singer and songwriter. They gave her album of the year for her 99 Nights. She did a song called “Confetti,” hence the… you know… floating paper things.
The Junos also do this thing where they induct someone into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame. This year it was Maestro Fresh Wes, who I know literally nothing about, so we will gloss over him for the purposes of this post.
The humanitarian award went to Tegan & Sara—if you don’t know them, what are you doing, go listen to The Con right now—which Eliot Freaking Page presented to them! They were recognized for their work with the (duh) Tegan and Sara Foundation, which fights for LGBTQ+ equality and justice.
They’re actually on tour across Ontario right now, playing their seminal 2002 album If It Was You acoustically every night in intimate little theatres. I’ll let you in on a secret: I almost bought a ticket last-minute to see them in Brampton last weekend, but I had too many papers due that night. Oh my god would that have been fun to write about. But I’m not too mad since I’m seeing them anyway in June opening for Arkells!!!!!
Below is their Substack, for those of you who are curious:
A bunch of artists I don’t know honoured Gordon Lightfoot and Robbie Robertson during the In Memoriam segment, since both of them passed away last year. What major losses for Canadian folk and singer-songwriter music. I’ve been on a real Lightfoot kick these days. My word, he was some talent. This is my favourite of his. You’ll never be the same once you hear it.
This up-and-coming country artist named Josh Ross did some songs I had never heard but I honestly liked them. Here’s both, in case you like country: “Single Again” and “Trouble”.
The Beaches closed the night by playing their smash hit that blew up on TikTok last year, so maybe you know it. But it’s not a TikTok song in the sense that most TikTok songs are 5 second hooks and the rest is vapid mumble rap noise. “Blame Brett” is a bullet train, y’all. Singlehandedly saved their career. What a cool thing it is to see all-female bands playing amphitheatres in Canada. Here’s them playing the song during the show:
Only one post this week because it’s Easter. Should be back on Tuesday and then again on Friday. Like I said last week, though, it’s a busy time for me, so I just magically disappear for a bit.
Happy Easter, if you celebrate!